When a Mate Is Unfaithful

MEANINGFUL Support

In view of the many factors that can be considered, it may be beneficial to seek the assistance of an experienced and balanced counselor. Jehovah's Witnesses, for example, have access to kind and compassionate congregation elders.—James 5:13-15.

Counselors, friends, and relatives are encouraged not to promote personal preferences or to advocate or condemn either divorce on Scriptural grounds or reconciliation. Urges one Christian woman who went through a divorce: "Just give lots of support, and let us make up our own minds about what to do."

Counsel ought to be solidly based on the Bible. "Don't tell them how they should or should not feel," suggests one divorcée. "Rather, let them talk their hearts out." Fellow feeling, brotherly affection, and tender compassion will help soothe the deep injuries caused by marital betrayal. (1 Peter 3:8) An experienced counselor noted: "There exists the one speaking thoughtlessly as with the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise ones is a healing."—Proverbs 12:18.

"I needed understanding, a word of comfort, and encouragement," reflects one faithful husband. "And my wife craved some specific direction and commendation for the effort she was making—tangible support that could help her continue."

If after careful and prayerful contemplation a person decides to divorce or separate for a Scriptural reason, counsel should not be given in a way that makes the person feel guilty. Rather, the person can be helped to overcome unwarranted feelings of guilt.

"If you want to be a meaningful source of comfort," said one victim, "never forget the deep human emotions involved."

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